Happy Father's Day

Hi Dad,

Happy Father's Day!  Each time I get a message with something about Father's Day I feel like someone has punched me in the gut again.  For the first time in my life, I can't think about what I can get you, what you need, what you might want.  And it hurts... but as the meme below says.... grief is really just love - love that you want to give, but cannot. But I can and I will... I will always love you even though I can't see or touch you. And that love does gather in the corners of my eyes, forms a lump in my throat, and hollows out my chest.

And I honored you today with a half-marathon - Duo at the Ledges.  It was a fundraiser for the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society, so I thought it was appropriate.  I printed out your photo (the one from Jennie and Adam's wedding - of you with the most beautiful, loving, compassionate, proud smile). I had it laminated and I pinned it to the back of my Michigan Runner's shirt - the one that says, "Courage to start, will to endure, strength to finish".  The quote always reminds me of you because you had the will (and love) to endure so much and the strength beyond measure.

Well the weather forecast wasn't too bad - misty rain, about 64 degrees.

Well, that was the forecast - we ran through a thunderstorm, massive downpours, puddles on the sidewalks and roads, and mud.  But we did it - we reminisced about walks at Lake Welsh, building trenches around the campsite, swimming at Lake Welsh, and drives from Lake Welsh to work so we could spend an extra week or two there.  I wondered about your picture and would it hold up in the rain - it did (as did my phone, which was in my hydration pack).  I thought about how much you did for all of us over the years, and this seemed minuscule by comparison and it was.

But I'm proud to have done it in your honor! And by the way, I got an age group PR - fastest half marathon I've done since October 2016!  Came in third in my age group (of three, but hay, I still got a medal for coming in third).  

Well, Happy Father's Day.... love you!

Susan

12 States/1 Province - all to run 3.5 hours in Maine

Hi Dad,

So in some crazy moment months ago, I decided that it would be cool to run a 25 km trail race in Maine with some friends of mine.  And so I signed up, without checking into the route, elevation change, etc.  Simon and I had planned to fly to Hartford, drive to Boothbay Harbor, ME, then Standish, ME. Well, the night before we had a 5:50 am flight, he informed me that he was having floaters in his eye.  Too late to see an eye doctor, we ended up canceling the flights, figuring it was best to get his eye checked in the morning. Well, thankfully, it wasn't a torn retina or something serious, so we decided to drive... through Ontario, NY, VT, NH, and finally into ME.

As we traveled down two-lane highways in Vermont and New Hampshire, I told Simon stories of our many camping trips in Vermont when we were all so much younger.  (BTW, he wanted to take the train to the top of Mount Washington and hike down. But alas, we were too early in the season - which was fine with me.  I didn't want to hike down the mountain two days before a major race).  We picked up some VT cheddar cheese in a small gift shop - reminded me of Cabot, VT. Oh, we had so much fun on those trips, didn't we?  Thought of you and Mom when we went through Laconia - well, yes, I wasn't there, but I vividly remember the photo of you and Mom.

We stayed three nights on Sebago Lake.  It was serene and beautiful - a relaxing break from the stress of work - but too cold to swim in!  Ah, Maine!

On Saturday, several of us went for a short run in the morning then I had hoped to give my friends a tour of the Maine coast. Well, they wanted to go to LL Bean, so we did that, after we picked up our race packets.  We never made it to the coast, but at least my friends had Maine lobster and then on the way back we found this

very interesting swinging bridge in Bath, ME. We enjoyed the stop and had experimented to see how much the bridge really swung - quite a bit.

Sunday was race day. The start for the 50km race, which several friends were running was 8 am - not too bad of a start time. It was 10 am for the 25km race. The race was held at a place called Pineland Farms. I expected some little farm stand, but no, the grounds were massive. There were several large brick buildings on the grounds also.  Turns out it was a "home for the feeble minded" (yes, seriously, that was what it was called).  Its now a beautifully kept conference center, however, when a friend of mine told me about the course, I wondered if I was the feeble-minded one!  Yes, the course was brutal - about 2800 ft of elevation change, with some hills so steep I walked down them.  Nevertheless, the course was brutal and I have to admit I was glad when I was done and thankful I hadn't let my friends convince me to do the 50 km race (two laps of the 25k). 

I wanted to see Mom as we were back east and it was only an additional 2 hours to drive to the house on Monday, stay overnight, and head to Michigan on Tuesday morning.  Besides, we'd beat much of the holiday traffic if we did this.

So on Monday morning we headed first to York, ME as I had promised Mom I would bring her a Maine lobster.  And then I promised Steve I would bring him one as a birthday present.  Besides he needed something to cheer him up as he was so disappointed he wasn't able to get the Model A started for the parade.  (You would be so proud of Noah - he watched everything you did with the Model A and could explain exactly how to start it.  Steve is planning to drive it in the 4th of July parade).  So we stopped in York and picked up three cooked and cooled lobsters, lobster meat for Paulette so she could make a lobster roll, and several quarts of clam chowder. 

Well the lobsters were a big hit. Steve ate two of them and Mom enjoyed hers.  Paulette was very happy with her lobster meat.  And the clam chowder was enjoyed by all over the next few days.

So let's see - I said 12 states: well Massachusetts, Connecticut, NY, and NJ on Monday and then on Tuesday: Pennsylvania, Ohio, and back to Michigan.  Yes, 12 states and one province to run 3.5 hours in the woods!  Steve said Simon has the patience of a saint for doing this with me (and driving most of the distance).  You'd probably agree (so do I).

Love you,

Susan

Hi Dad, I can't believe its been a month since I wrote (Part 1)

Hi Dad,

Its afternoon coffee time and I'm sitting here thinking of you and wondering if you'd like a cup of coffee and a piece of Entemann's crumb cake? Or perhaps you'd like some Great Harvest pumpkin bread?

At lot has happened in the last month.  I spent Mother's Day with Mom - we had a wonderful weekend. We watched movies... including "A Walk in the Woods" about two 60-some year olds who decide to walk the Appalachian Trail.  They're head off on the trail in Georgia, totally unprepared.  Mom and I laughed so hard at their misadventures. Oh, and also at Mary Ellen, the young girl they met on the trail - who walked super fast. Mom said that was me.

And on Mother's Day I took Mom to the nursery somewhere in Closter - the one you and Mom drove all over searching for it. Found it pretty easily this time and I got Mom petunias, tomato plants and several herbs for the garden.  Then we stopped at Closter Nature Center where Mom and I practiced for our planned adventure on Appalachian Trail - got to get Mom a set of walking sticks. :)

 

On Monday, we visited the gardens at van Saun Park. The colors were simply amazing and I think we could have stayed there all day just absorbing the colors and scent of the flowers.  

And here's Mom, sitting on a park bench - there's space for you. And she's thinking of you and how much you would love the gardens.  

And let's see, we also had dinner with Steve on Friday night - that was a blast!  We reminisced about high school days etc.  And Sunday, we had dinner with Steve, Roberta, and their kids.

And of course, we had to walk around Cooper's Pond at least once.  Which reminds me - I need to check when the museum is open so I can go with Mom the next time I'm down.  We'll take you on a tour of the museum, though I wish we had done it much sooner.

The final garden visit was Johnson Park in Tenafly. I hadn't been there since college, when Barbara would go over there to paint.  Mom found a new pet.  She was kind of sad, though as I wouldn't let her take it home.

Dad, we really miss you, but I'm glad I could spend the time with Mom and she was able to get out and enjoy herself somewhat. 

Love you always and ever,

Susan

What am I doing awake at 4 am?

Hi Dad,

I guess I'm worried about Noah and that's why I'm awake at 4 am. I had a dream that I was with Noah and we were drawing pictures to send to you.  I have no idea what Noah drew but I drew us on the Sunfish sailboat. It had an orange and yellow striped sail and there were mountains in the background.  Lake Wiawanda (or how ever it is spelled) in Sussex County (I think).  Noah wanted to send the pictures to you and I told him the only way was to burn them so you could get the smoke and then would be able to put them back together like a giant 5000-piece jigsaw puzzle.  And so we went out in the backyard and burned our pictures and sent them to you.  And then Noah wanted to know if he died could he be with you.  I told him yes, but then his mom, grandma, and all of us would miss him so.  And then I woke up.

Oh Dad, I miss you so.  I knew it would be hard but I didn't know it would be this hard to let you go.

Love you,

Dad

Its Spring on campus

Hi Dad,

In the past Mom would share my FB photos with you, but I decided that this time I would share them myself.  I walked across campus this afternoon on this absolutely gorgeous day as I had to go over to meet with a student of mine.  (That's another story, but I won't write that here).

But it was an absolutely beautiful day, perfect temperature and gentle breeze.  Thanks for walking it with me.

Love you,

Dad

And it was too beautiful an evening to sit inside and grade reports (even though grades are due tomorrow). So Simon and I explored a new park in town.  The ground was covered with purple violets, yellow and white flowers. The mayflowers haven't started to bloom and the trillium is just starting.

And then we came across a pond, with two ducks paddling across.  I tried to take their picture, but they disappeared into the reeds.  They reminded me of sitting next to you in August 2016 as you started chemo again - of your strength, your dedication, and your motivation to be there for us.  And I know that you will always be there, in that other room, where we cannot see you, but yet we feel your presence and we know you are with us. Day in and day out. And we know we are loved. 

Little things that remind me of you

Hi Dad,

Tonight Simon made spinach feta pie and it reminded me of you.  Ah, how I wish we could make it for you one more time.  But alas....

I thought of you often yesterday as I ran, of our walks up the block and of hikes around Lake Welch.  I have no idea sometimes why I remember certain things at certain times, but I do.  Maybe it was because I was running along Lake Lansing. But it was a beautiful morning, and there was a cool breeze off the lake.  Part of me wanted to just go sit by the lake and savor the breeze and the sunshine, but I had another 6 miles or so to run back, so I didn't stop.

Love you, Dad.

Susan

P.S. Monday morning: I woke up with the song, I'll be seeing you, playing in my head.  Because it is so very true, I do see and hear you, in all those familiar places. You're there by my side in the morning, throughout the day, and in the evening.

I spent much of the weekend at commencements.  Here's a photo from Friday's graduate commencement of me with one of my PhD students.

Thank you, Dad

Hi Dad,

Its been months since I've been able to run any distance without stopping and tonight, because of you, I ran 3.3 miles without stopping.  I may not have been that fast, but I did it.  At one point I was going to stop and walk, but you gave me the strength to keep going. Thank you, Dad.

I love you!

And welcome, Spring!

Tenafly

Hi Dad,

I needed to write a case study for the wastewater chapter of the textbook Mack and I co-author.  I had forgotten about it but got a reminder today.  

Well yesterday, I honored you in my wastewater class  by having my class discuss four articles written between 1948 and 1971 about the Tenafly WWTP and Bergen County Sewer.   We talked about all the ways Mr. Adams was ahead of his time.  And I made sure also that the students recognized that a number of people cited in the articles are the founders of our field: Eckenfelder, Fair, O'Connor, and Sawyer. And we discussed the time periods - before the EPA, Clean Water Act, Clean Air Act, etc.

And then when I got the reminder today, I knew that the case study needed to honor you, Mr. Adams, Uncle Walt, and all who made the world a safer and better place.

Love you, Dad.

Tenafly Sewage Treatment Plant: A Plant Decades Ahead of its Time

It was late 1946 and World War II had just ended. With the completion of the George Washington Bridge in 1931, the population of Bergen County, New Jersey had grown significantly.  While most of the towns in the county lacked sewage treatment, Tenafly, a small town of around 7,500 was decades ahead of its time. 

Built at a time when most large cities treated their wastewater with only sedimentation (primary treatment) and there were no federal wastewater treatment regulations in the US, the 1.75 million gallon per day (MGD) plant employed what would be considered today as state-of-the art treatment.  While most plants used primary sedimentation tanks, this plant used fine screens.  From the fine screens, the wastewater flowed into activated sludge tanks, with air supplied through diffuser plates.  The effluent from the secondary clarifiers was treated through sand filtration and chlorinated prior to discharge. A portion of the chlorinated plant effluent was recycled into the plant for use in the chlorinators, which reduced water consumption and costs by up to 75% (Adams, 1948).  The remainder of the wastewater effluent was discharged to the Tenakill Brook, which flowed 3.5 miles before discharging into the Oradell Reservoir, the drinking water supply for Tenafly and the surrounding area.

The raw waste activated sludge was conditioned with ferric chloride then dewatered using vacuum filtration. It was then flash-dried, bagged, and marketed as fertilizer.  The sludge, “Tenafly Soil Food”, had a nitrogen and phosphorus contents of 5% and 3%, respectively.  It brought a net income of nearly $4000 per year (Adams, 1948).

So two years before the promulgation of the Federal Water Pollution Control Act of 1948, the first major U.S. law to address water pollution, and 26 years before the enactment of the Clean Water Act (CWA), the Tenafly plant operated as a model for the nation. It employed innovative technology and equipment, tertiary treatment, and indirect potable water reuse. It also produced sludge (i.e., biosolids) that was applied to soil to supply nutrients and replenish soil organic matter. 

Add to references at the end of chapter:

Adams, J.K. 1948. “Operating Experiences at Tenafly, NJ”, Sewage Works Journal 20(5): 909-912.

Happy Easter, Dad!

Hi Dad,

I hope you had a wonderful Easter in heaven with Uncle Jerry, Aunt Betty, and Uncle Walt. It was lonely here without you.  Mom pulled through - she made pierogies and babka as usual.  She made sure to buy the prune danish you like and she looked for Entemann's hot cross buns, because those were your favorite.  She made stuffed cabbage and a ham.  And then Noah came down with strep throat so it ended up a quiet Easter with just Barb, her, Kaide, and Paulette.  Although Steve came over to visit and enjoyed Mom's cooking.  I wish I could have flown down for the weekend - but I ended up spending much of it coding an exam, helping Jeff with his Fluids Lab write-up, reading a paper for class, editing another with Simon, and then prepping for air pollution this week. 

I did get in a good run on Saturday with a few friends. If they post a photo, I'll add one for you.

And Noah tried to launch a balloon with a note for you.  He really misses you - as do all of us.  Some days are harder than others. 

Happy Easter, Dad!  We love and miss you.

Susan

When you remember me....

"When you remember me, it means you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart." ~ Frederick Buechner

A friend of mine just posted this... Yes, Dad... I remember you because you made me who I am.  I carry you with me wherever I go... Though time and space stand between us, you are here, I can hear your voice and you do speak to me in my heart.  You are you, I am I, but we are still together.

Missing you

Hi Dad,

Its been a hard day as I'm missing you so.  I don't know why today is so hard - maybe because Jeff is sick with the flu and a high fever; maybe because I'm so tired; maybe because its been a hard week at work.  I don't know - but I miss you.  It seems like forever since I've last seen you or talked to you.  And yet, it seems like just yesterday when we were there for Christmas.  One day at a time, Dad, all I can do, is take one day at a time.

Paulette took Mom to see the movie "Wrinkle in Time".  She enjoyed it and today she even stopped at the library and checked out three books to read.  We're all learning to cope, to start anew, but we miss you so. 

Love you, forever, Dad.

Susan

Hi Dad,

The other day I woke up and all I could think of this song... and you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZbhrO4IEtI

And how much we all miss you... it will be a month tomorrow since you passed. It seems like forever and yet it seems like it was yesterday that we walked up the street and we went to Benjamin Brothers.

I spent the past week with Mom.  We worked on paperwork and thank you notes.  We went to DPW to speak to the director about the memorial bench at Coopers Pond.  We played and colored with Noah.  We went grocery shopping and even walked around Coopers Pond.  We found the perfect location for the park bench - right near the porta-potty, where you often stopped on your walks around the pond. 

Love you,

Susan

Good-bye and welcome

 My friend Kate posted today, "I really do love this image. After dad died, the thought of him reuniting with family and friends long gone brought me tremendous comfort."

"Goodbye and Welcome" by artist Charles Santoso

So very true, Dad.  It brought me great comfort to think of you and Uncle Jerry and Aunt Betty having Sunday dinner together. Of you and Uncle Jerry having long conversations on Sunday afternoons.

April 1987 - before Steve and Roberta's wedding

October 11, 1986 at Simon and my wedding reception

Aunt Betty made a cake just for the occasion.  And Uncle Walt put a roast in the oven just before he went to church, allowing God to do the cooking, just as he used to do, many years ago.

But I miss you, Dad.

Barbara and I - sometime in the 1960s in Troupsburg, NY - with Uncle Walk

Grand Canyon

Hi Dad,

Been thinking about you lots, and missing you.

The other day a post appeared from February 2013 after your first round of chemo.  You talked about wanting to go see the Grand Canyon.  I'm sorry we never got there with you.

A friend of mine was posting photos yesterday as she was visiting the Grand Canyon (before she is running a 50 mile, yes, 50 mile race).  Its been almost 27 years since I was out there with Simon. I was pregnant with Quentin at the time.

And then today, I went downstairs to run on the treadmill.  And where was today's run on the ifit.... yep, in the Grand Canyon.  And so we ran 4 miles in the Grand Canyon on the Colorado River!

Hope you enjoyed the run... I didn't want it to end...

Missing you, Dad.

Love you,

Susan

What a nice man!

 Tribute read at Dad's funeral by Roberta Masten-Davies

I wanted to take a few minutes to honor my father in law on behalf of Steve and our children. There are so many nice adjectives to describe Dad. Sweet, Kind, caring, loving knowledgeable, wonderful, persistent.

Anyone that got a chance to know my father in law would say the same thing – what a nice man.

So many people from the community have reached out to me via Facebook and said how much they loved working with him and how much they learned from him. He made a difference in the world with everyone he encountered

Steve learned first hand how to fix so many things from Dad – and am I thankful for that.

He taught him electrical, how to fix cars, how to solder pipes together: Dad was Mr. Fix it. Give that man a project and it may take him a whole day but he will fix it.

Steve and I went down to the shore and our Jeep caught on fire. Steve put out the fire and hotwired it home. And dad, wire by wire, rebuilt the engine with Steve.

When I bought my first car that I loved – Dat B10 turquoise. I had the first of many accidents to come. Dad fixed my car dent by dent. I was forever grateful – I kept saying Thank you and and he would say “don’t thank me yet” - We had to wait for it to be finished.  Dad helped us with our first house with endless hours of repairs

Steve had the pleasure of working a few years with dad as an electrician. When Steve worked Belvi electric. Steve would sleep at my house and dad would pick him up and they would go to work together. And dad would always have his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

Dad had a strong work ethic which I believe all of his kids got. He was a family man that loved his children and grandchildren with all his heart. My kids loved going on adventures with grandma and grandpa in the big white van and loved the idea that grandpa drove a school bus.

Dad loved hearing about his grandkids and what they were up to his eyes would light up when we told him what they were up to.

Right up until the end dad fought and came back so many times. He was persistent in anything he did. A few days ago Dad even tried to make Steve a cup of coffee.

He had such a big impact in our lives and taught us so much. He has an influence on all his children and grandchildren. We were blessed to have you in our lives and will continue to speak of all the memories so you live on in all our hearts.